{"id":38744,"date":"2018-05-30T05:00:42","date_gmt":"2018-05-30T11:00:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tested-neuron.flywheelsites.com\/?p=38744"},"modified":"2018-06-12T12:38:54","modified_gmt":"2018-06-12T18:38:54","slug":"seven-ways-to-prepare-for-a-one-on-one-with-your-manager","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/unreasonablegroup.com\/articles\/seven-ways-to-prepare-for-a-one-on-one-with-your-manager\/","title":{"rendered":"Seven Ways to Prepare for a One-on-One with Your Manager"},"content":{"rendered":"

M<\/span>any managers say flat-out that their biggest frustration is when employees are not prepared for a one-on-one meeting. <\/p>\n

Yikes, really?<\/p>\n

Over the past four years, I\u2019ve heard countless managers, CEOs, and business owners say a version of this to me: “During a one-on-one, I\u2019ll ask a question and there\u2019s silence on the other end. Or they\u2019ll use it as a complaining session and it\u2019s clear they haven\u2019t been thoughtful about what feedback they\u2019re offering. The lack of preparation just kills\u00a0me.\u201d<\/p>\n

As an employee, this may be somewhat surprising to hear. We often underestimate how vexing it can be for a manager when we don\u2019t come fully prepared to a one-on-one meeting.<\/p>\n

I dearly wished I\u2019d approached those one-on-one meetings differently, with less passivity and more positivity.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I know\u00a0I\u00a0didn\u2019t prepare for any of my one-on-ones when I was an employee six years ago. Out of fear, anxiety, and a bit of dread for what the conversation was going to be like, I pushed my impending one-on-one meeting out of mind. I didn\u2019t think about what I wanted to say in the weeks (and days) leading up to it. \u201cWas it really worth putting in the energy to do so? Nah\u2026\u201d I thought to myself. So I decided against it. As a result, when my boss asked me, \u201cWhat do you think could be better in the company?\u201d my answer was vague and not meaningful.<\/p>\n

In the moment, it felt like the safe and comfortable thing to do. The truth is, I only hurt myself. I bungled my opportunity to influence real change. I also only further frustrated my boss, who was perplexed that I seemed dissatisfied but never vocalized my concerns outright.<\/p>\n

Eventually, I left the company. But I dearly wished I\u2019d approached those one-on-one meetings differently, with less passivity and more positivity. I wish I would\u2019ve seen those one-on-one meetings as an opportunity instead of an obstacle. I wish I would\u2019ve seized those one-on-ones as a moment to engage and dig deeper with my manager, instead of using them to create distance and fester in apathy.<\/p>\n

In the six years since being an employee, now as a CEO myself, I\u2019ve since learned the power of preparing for a one-on-one. It\u2019s not just\u00a0managers who should be preparing for them<\/a>, but employees too.<\/p>\n

Knowing what I know now, here\u2019s what I wish I would\u2019ve considered when preparing for a one-on-one meeting with my then boss.<\/p>\n

Share what\u2019s been most motivating to\u00a0you.<\/h3>\n

Managers crave to know what they should be doing to help you do your best work. After all, a manager\u2019s ultimate job is to\u00a0create an environment that enables you to tap into your own intrinsic motivation<\/a>. During your one-on-one, make sure you share what tangibly has been most motivating to you while at the company: What\u2019s been your favorite project? Who was someone you really enjoyed working it? Why was what you were working on so invigorating to you?<\/p>\n

What we must remember is that if we don\u2019t talk about it, our managers will never know about it.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Reveal what\u2019s been draining and demotivating to\u00a0you.<\/h3>\n

As an employee, it\u2019s always tough to bring up a critique of the company, especially if it\u2019s about your own manager\u2019s habits and actions. You\u2019re worried it\u2019ll be misinterpreted as \u201ccomplain-y\u201d, that your manager will take it personally, and that it could affect your career progression. Or perhaps worse, you\u2019ll put in all the effort of sharing your feedback and nothing will happen.<\/p>\n

While all of those scenarios might be possible outcomes, what we must remember is that if we don\u2019t talk about it, our managers will never know about it. The little things, whether it\u2019s your manager interrupting you during meetings or always asking you to stay late, add up. They gnaw away at your ability to feel energized about your work. If\u00a0you\u00a0don\u2019t say something, then who will? When you do speak up and vocalize tough feedback, look to\u00a0approach the conversation with care, observation, fallibility, and curiosity<\/a>. It\u2019s a hard, delicate path to travel, but it\u2019s a worthwhile path if you want your work environment to become better.<\/p>\n

Explain how you want to stretch and\u00a0grow.<\/h3>\n

Your one-on-one with your manager is your chance to let her know how you\u2019d like to be further pushed and challenged in your role (or outside your role). Take time to reflect on what you\u2019d like to improve or work on professionally. Perhaps it\u2019s something more broad, like learning to be more patient and strategic in your thinking. Or maybe it\u2019s much more about gaining a specific skill, such as becoming a better writer. Suggest potential projects for how you\u2019d like to grow in those areas, and see if your manager has any ideas around it. Ask your manager for advice on what books, classes, or people you should be talking to help you pursue the greater learning you\u2019re looking for.<\/p>\n

Highlight what you\u2019re grateful for about the company, work environment, or how your manager has treated\u00a0you.<\/h3>\n

Giving feedback during a one-on-one isn\u2019t just about zooming in on the bad. It\u2019s the perfect time to point out the good, especially the good things your manager has done or said. Think about what your manager does that your previous manager at another company never did. What are the things you want to make sure she knows you don\u2019t take for granted? Be specific, and say thank you. Not only will it help boost the morale of your manager (who needs the positive support, as being a manager can be a thankless job in some ways), but it helps guide your manager to double down on the things that you appreciate.<\/p>\n

Take advantage of the fact that you have dedicated time to discuss bigger questions about the state of the company with your manager.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Consider what\u2019s been confusing or concerning to you in the\u00a0company.<\/h3>\n

Are you concerned that the company is growing too fast and losing some of its original culture? Are you confused why the company decided to change its vision midyear when things have been going so well? Consider leveling with your manager about what uncertainty is weighing on your mind during the one-on-one. It\u2019s much more challenging to try to bring up those questions outside of a one-on-one meeting, so take advantage of the fact that you have dedicated time to discuss bigger questions about the state of the company with your manager.<\/p>\n

Suggest one thing you see as your greatest shortcoming, and what you want to do to actively compensate for it or improve on\u00a0it.<\/h3>\n

During your one-on-one, your manager is bound to share some constructive feedback in an area you could improve. While intimidating at times, it\u2019s a good and helpful thing, and something to prepare for. To help make the conversation easier for you both, and to show that you\u2019re actively looking to improve, offer some of your thoughts about moments you wish you would\u2019ve handled differently. This could come in the form of goals, such as, \u201cI want to find ways to ask more questions when interacting with customers,\u201d or observations of areas you want to strengthen, such as, \u201cI have a tendency to rush some of my projects, and I want to find ways to focus more on quality instead of speed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Prepare three to four questions to ask, to help you better understand how to focus your efforts going\u00a0forward.<\/h3>\n

In case your manager doesn\u2019t ask questions that cover everything you\u2019d like to cover, you\u2019ll want to have a few questions prepared. Here are some examples of questions you can ask that\u2019ll help you better understand how you can improve as an individual contributor, and help your manager understand what they can be doing better as well:<\/p>\n